Smurfboy Race

Smurf Boy 4 hours-River Legacy

Several of the Bicycles Inc. team members get ready at the start.

 It's two hours until midnight and the deadline to submit articles. And tomorrow is the first day of school.  I have a "race report" ready to send to the beloved Racing Post, but quite frankly it's boring. My brain is too tired right now to edit and polish. It is a report of a 4 hour endurance race (actually I only lasted for 3 hours) that I recently did as part of the Smurfboy series. At the end of the article, anyone reading it would probably be dying to give me advice and let me know how dumb I raced. That got me to thinking... what great fodder for a Top Ten list. Luckily, I only made 8 major mistakes. So here are:

Eight Ways to last less than 4 hours at a 4-hour Race:

8) If your race begins at 6:00 p.m., show up about 30 minutes early. Unregistered.

7) At the mass start, roll up late so you can get the best view of everyone from the back of the pack.

6) Ride for 1.5 hours (in the 100+ degree heat) on only one bottle of water.

5) Pick the fast, experienced endurance racers to help you determine your pace.

4) Wait until the actual race to use a bike light for the first time ever.

3) After you have hit the point of dehydration-induced nausea, eat the only food on the planet that makes you gag (a gu).

2) Use 4 lights the size of pinholes on your helmet. On a course lined with trees.

1) Pass all the experienced endurance racers early so you can tell them "good luck" 3 hours later when your legs are smoked and they pass you, still going strong.

Guess you live and learn.