The Mighty Moose

The Olympics are almost over and football season is right around the corner.  (I'm trying to make a random article seem not so random.)  The ramblings have to do with the fact that not a single college in America has the moose as a mascot.  Not one.  Ridiculous.  And only one high school has the moose for a mascot.  I wish I had a percentage on that. 

 

The Mighty Moose

Like Jeopardy, see if you can name the question. "Bulldogs. Salukis. Great Danes. Greyhounds." What are... breeds of dogs? Nope. "Generals, Colonels, Presidents, Governors." What are positions of authority?  Uh-uh, sorry. "Monarchs, Peacocks, Sagehens." What are pretty birds? Wrong again. Correct answer: What are college mascots.

Have you ever wondered how a school chooses its mascot? I have a better question. Out of 1,281 NCAA colleges, why has not a single one of them picked the Moose? It boggles my mind.

Here are some fun facts for you about college mascots, taken from the website slackcat.com.     34 schools hail the Tiger as their mascot. 13 are the Lions, 14 the Pioneers, 17 the Panthers, and the Eagles and Wildcats tie at 19. There are 24 colleges whose mascot begins with the adjective "Golden." I get the fact that a Lion, Tiger, and Bear (14 schools are the Bears) are all ferocious beasts that fulfill the role of intimidating an opponent. However, you would think out of all of these schools, at least one one of them would take the creative route and go with the mighty moose.

Speaking of the creative route. Have you ever flipped on ESPN and found a grueling duel on the court between the Boll Weevils and the Banana Slugs?

    

Or what about a matchup on the grid iron between the Moundbuilders and the Prairie Fire? 

    

(My money's on the fire)

 I would love to have been on the brainstorming council the day those schools discussed candidates to faithfully represent their college or university. Too bad there weren't any moose advocates in the house.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, an examination of this certain list of mascots reveals a not so creative side. What overstuffed creature can adequately represent the Big Green, the Big Red, or the Big Blue? I wonder what the logo guy thought when he was supposed to illustrate "Big Green" on the front of spirit shirts. Other yawners are the Storm, the Pride, and the Lights. I guess those schools were keeping it simple. Hey, to each his own. I'd argue to these that a moose can be a simpleton if you ask him. After all, its just a large, brown animal. Go Big Brown! Well, maybe not.

If the moose could nose his way into both the creative and the boring categories of mascots, I see only one group left which, unfortunately, is an ill-fit. This group I call the "what is that" mascot. These are the ones that only .1% of fans can actually recognize without a life-size visual aid. Would anyone really know what a Buckeye was if it weren't for Brutus the Buckeye and his large nut-shaped head?

                                 How about a Boilermaker or a Hilltopper? Please, tell me what exactly is a Duhawk, an Eph, a Griffin, a Gustie, a Lute, and a Paladin? Go Gusties Go! I can't hear it. Moreover, I can't see it. Excuse me, can you tell me where the Eph section is? Yes, walk around until you see EFG, it's the one in the middle. Thanks.

And so, I will forever ponder how an animal, equally original and ferocious, has failed to have ever been considered to faithfully represent a beloved college. Perhaps the next founder of a center for higher learning (or any school for that matter, I'd take Heights Elementary Moose) should strongly consider the keen animal. Think about it, what would you rather have painted on the wall of your gym, a Sea Gull or a Moose? 

  versus 

 Which would you rather holler as you broke a huddle, Go Yeomen!, or Go Moose!? 

    versus

I believe the day is coming when the moose will gain its rightful place on the list of mascots, and when it does, you know on which side to find me cheering.

*There is one high school who was smart enough to pick the moose. The Alamosa High Mean Moose!